7x7


my body wants to let go of all this...i told you i might be to much...put it right out there in the open if you were listening...i speak in ways that a musician should understand. he'll never read this so i can say what i want. i want you. i want you to want me...to trace me with your words and touch me in circle with your fingers...i want you to spend time on me..i want you to want to taste me. i want purity. love is overrated. purity is where its at. i want to speak how i want and when i want and i want you�� to want to hear me. I WANT.
my eyes stay on you and my heart does too. i know i'm overwhelming...to a point that i don't even understand. when i fall asleep at night i feel guilty and i don't even know why...i feel sad and useless and unworthy..its sad. i'm sad. i have so much stuck inside me and i need someone to help me let it go. i m crying right now and no one will know and i think thats ok...but i need someone to comfort me sometimes...i don’t need them to i guess...it would just feel nice. maybe i should let go and then i’ll get what i need. thats what always happens. they love me once i leave. for once i just want someone to love me from the start...Not start at then end.

formal setting. to not admit. to hide from. lets learn how to disappear completely with no trace of what was one a flicker of light. forget all about everything let it go. speak like you know things argue so people think that you believe in something. be alone because you wont admit that your lonely. And the spiral down begins and spins and spins. One thing is clear but its the thing that you hide from. one thing is right but its the thing you will deny untill the end. BLAH.

Circles.

Circles....the theme in my life for the past 3 years....circles. The men, the music, the life, the drinks, the candy, the thoughts. Circles. It's easy for you to think things into place. You organize those thoughts in that head of yours. Put them in sealed boxes so that you don't get hurt. I'll seal the box with a kiss. I'm sealed. Your crafty but I know your craft. I'm too full of life to sit back and wait. Once, Twice, Three times...daring. You get three trys. I understand, I do. "It's a typical situation in these typical times...to many choices". Well I choose you and that is that. I either get him or I don't but....its set and I'm not going home. I want but I wont be walked on. I'll give but I wont run dry. I am the giving kind and you have me right in front of you ready....but everything comes in good time right? Fuck time. I'm tired of the theme. Tired, tired, tired. I'm tired of writing songs to little boys who don't know what they want till its gone. No more songs wasted on you boys. Shame on me for telling it so twisted. Shame on you for not. "But when she says she loves you....that means a lot". You say "you'd call it love if you could see that far" but you might not ever get there so hurry up. If its not you'll know if it is it will sting. I know you have a list....it's right there in the front of your mind. The pros and the cons.....the things that keep you up at night. Throw it out....cause "we just gotta make this moment a crime".